Round Two

Yet another anonymous post.

Once again, I'm not changing the wording only posting to reflect on the writers words.

I'm begging you as well to reconsider. I'm an adoptee and I wish someone had spoken on my behalf when I was unable to. My purchase price was around $30,000 not counting miscellaneous expenses like out-of-state pick up. If someone had given my natural mother even half of that, I wouldn't have had to be ripped away from her.

By the time I found her later in life it was too late. She's a lovely lady and a good mom (to my brothers), and we both wanted a relationship. We have tried so hard. But we are broken. She's not my mom anymore. And my search/reunion broke apart my adoptive family and my relationship. They weren't bad people. They were mis/uninformed. Now I have no family.

If you truly love this baby, think of him or her. Stop thinking of yourselves and your crazy desire to obtain another child at any cost. Adoption wasn't created to get babies for needy couples. It was to find homes for needy children.

Why not look into an older child adoption from foster care? Or at least an open adoption where the child can develop a relationship with his/her biological family too? That is "doing what's best for the child" and not just what's easiest for you.

This post actually really hurts my heart. I can't even imagine the hurt that the poster feels/has felt. I don't feel that financial reasons are the only reasons that women place their babies. I don't know this particular situation, but I know (or I like to think) that all women want what is BEST for their child! They want their child to have the best possible life and she knows she is going to be unable to provide that. Money is a temporary thing and I really can't say that I believe if giving the birth mom $15,000 that the child would have had the best life. Yes she ( I assume poster is a she) would've been able to stay with birth mom, but that money would've run out quickly. There is all kinds of financial help out there, a person just has to be willing to look for it. And who knows? Maybe child would've been able to stay with birth mom until that money ran out and then what would have happened?

I would've had a lot more respect if poster would've stopped there, and not written those last two paragraphs. I do not think it in any way or form that it is crazy to have the desire to "obtain" a child at any cost. Having biological children costs money as well. As in prenatal care, doctor visits during pregnancy, hospital stay, as well as the baby's stay in the hospital, mom's follow up appointment. Having something unexpected happen can only makes those costs rise. So my point here is. Say You've dreamed all of your life to have a baby. You become pregnant, and have no insurance. You are thoroughly excited and love your baby more than anything in the world. You know you want to parent your child. Your bills keep adding up, but you gratefully pay them. You begin labor and go to the hospital. Something unexpected comes up and it's going to cost you even MORE money than what you where expecting. Do you say, "Oh nope sorry, don't want to parent this baby anymore, because it didn't cost exactly what you told me it was going to." You wouldn't parent this child at any cost? "Obtaining" a child, whether it's biologically or through adoption is (IMO) about love and if it's a desire for you to have a child/more children, you would do whatever possible to make that happen. There is nothing wrong with trying to make dreams come true. Adoption for needy children is a two way street. I would think you would want "needy couples" to parent a baby that was placed for adoption rather than Joe Schmoe down the street that doesn't care one way or another.

Last paragraph, do research before you comment on something you know nothing about! My husband and I did look into foster care. We decided not to pursue it AT THIS TIME. But it is always in the back of my mind. We will have an open adoption because once again, I don't believe in closed adoption. And the last sentence... wow, I think that was only written to get under my skin. Which is okay. She posted her opinion and now here's the truth. Adoption is not "easy" for anyone involved. Not for birth mom, not for adoptee, and not for adoptive parents. But I do totally agree that OPEN adoption is what is best for everyone involved.