Six Months

Our little guy is already six months old! He's happy, healthy and brings an incredible joy into our lives. I'm pretty certain he has everyone wrapped around his little pinky.

Mom, Why Did You Adopt C?

This is the question our five year old, Miss K, asked me.

I replied, "Well, we've talked about this before. Because Daddy and I wanted another little baby."

She says, "And..."

I say, "And because we wanted you to have a sibling."

Again she says, "And..."

So I go on and say, "Well sweetie, we met A and A and we loved them too and wanted them in our lives and they asked us to be C's family. And...

She says, "And because you wanted him to pee in your face?"

<insert belly laughing here>

So today's lesson? I need to lighten up. Not all questions are meant to be deep.

Shopping Trip

I just had an urge to write this morning and this is what hit me. This shopping trip for C. I remember on the way there Nick and I were so nervous and scared. We kept asking each other, surely this will happen if we go shopping together right? I mean if we buy all this little boy stuff and it doesn't work out what are we going to do with it? I know with our previous match I did buy little girl things and that was one of the hardest things to do... as a matter of fact I didn't take them back until after this shopping trip to exchange them for little boy items. After we got there, and I saw how Agirl's face lit up while shopping, most of my fears vanished. Whether or not placement was going to work out, I decided I could enjoy this with her. She loves to shop! Her joy for it was infectious. Nick hates to shop, well except for hunting and fishing, but there at the end? Even he was looking around for little boy items. I remember we kept trying to figure out what season it would be for the age of clothing! I really wanted a picture of all of us together. I had taken my camera with me every time we had visited with them, but I always forgot to ask to take pictures. Not this time! At this particular picture is on a shelf in C's room. This day was a huge day for Nick and I! I think after this day is when reality hit us, we were matched with this amazing couple considering us to be parents! Dreaming and wishing and hoping for this little guy began!!

Three Months

I can't believe our little guy is three months old today. It really does seem like yesterday that we got the call that we needed to head to the hospital. It is going by fast and it brings tears to my eyes. I find myself doing less and less housework and more holding him, staring at him and just ENJOYING him. He's a dream come true and I can't imagine having a more perfect baby.

 He makes my heart sing.

How Could She Do That?

I've been asked this question so many times of Corbin's birth mother (which I hate that title because although she is, she is so much more!).

It usually goes something like this...

How could she do that? How could any mother carry her child for 9 months and then just give him away? Although, I'm glad because now you have a baby, but I just don't understand how anyone could do that.

Time and time again I answer with, "She loved him enough to place him with us." When people ask these questions it seriously makes me cringe, because I always think... If you only knew how great her and Aboy's love is for C you wouldn't even open your mouth! I know without a doubt that they love C, and because of that love they were able to place him in our arms. I believe if they had loved him any less, they wouldn't have gone through that heartbreaking decision. I'm so grateful for them and I'm so thankful to have birth parents that love and care for him as much as they do.

I can see the love every time they hold him or look at him. Can't you?

The Story

At the beginning of November we received a call on our adoption line. I didn't get to the phone in time. Honestly, I had been watching a movie and was crying my eyes out,. I didn't think it would make a good impression answering the phone blubbering. A young man left a voicemail (which I STILL have saved on my phone) saying that he and his girlfriend saw our ad online and would like to meet us. ACK! Anyhow, I gathered my wits about me and called back. Voicemail. My initial thought was, "Well, they probably changed their minds."

They did call back though! We talked for a bit and decided to meet the following day. Nick was out of town on his annual hunting trip, so that left me! EEK!  Our friend Stephanie rode down with me to ease Nick's mind with me traveling alone with Miss K. I loved them immediately! I love Agirls's out outspokenness (which is something I don't have! so I totally admire that in her) and I love that Aboy isn't afraid to show his feelings. They let me see baby's ultrasound pictures and Agirl let me feel him kick! I admit, I was pretty nervous about all that, because I'm a woman and I get caught up in that sort of thing but I'm SO glad I got that opportunity! Riding home that night, Steph and I were talking about it, and I hate to even say it, but comparing. Stephanie had also met K and her family and she said upon meeting them she did not get a good feeling, she said immediately she felt anxious. Upon meeting A and A, she felt at ease and it felt like visiting friends we haven't seen in a while. I remember talking to Nick that night and said, "Nick, I think this is the reason why the K thing didn't work out." After talking with our agency the following day, I received a huge hand slap for not following protocol. Basically I decided on my own to go see them without giving the agency a head's up. Nick and I felt like they failed us in our previous match, not to mention various other things that we were(are) very disappointed in, and decided that with any other situation we would handle it how we wanted. Right away the agency told us to back off from this situation. Nick and I decided and told the agency over and over again that we wanted to proceed. We knew the risks and we were okay with that... We understand but we also had hope that this was going to work out. Scared to hell, yes, but we had a sliver of hope.

I'm not going to go into specific details about A and A because I do feel they are private and that is for them to share, but I'm not going to leave yall in the dark either! Since Nick wasn't home we made plans to visit over Thanksgiving break. Our agency had advised us against going to see them and then the day before encouraged us to and said that it looked like if everything went well it looked like we might be matching the following week! On the way down, I told Nick "No pressure or anything, but I know they already like me, so it's all you now!" We had a nice visit and we tentatively made plans to visit again over Christmas break. After visiting with them, we didn't hear anything from the agency about matching. I think Nick and I were both a little disappointed, but we were okay with it too. I knew they still liked us because they were still texting us, but we were still uncertain where this might be going.

***I want to add in here too, that after the failed match Nick and I said that whatever we decided we would try our hardest to protect Miss K's heart. It was an absolute mess having to deal with her emotions after the failed match. Miss K definitely was around A and A, as we felt that it was important for her to be but we never explained to her who they *could* be. When we told Miss K that we were going to visit A and A she would say, "WOOHOO!" She absolutely loved Agril! The first time we met Agirl colored with Miss K and totally won her over, that meant so much to me!! The fact that Miss K was always excited to see them really stuck out in my head :)

During Christmas break A and A expressed that they would like to come to our house for the next meeting. I let them know of our available dates and also invited them to Miss K's b-day party. They decided to come to her party. I was so nervous! The prior visits I wasn't very nervous, but this one I was - majorly. I don't know if it was because it was our house, or Miss K's party or what. Agirl showed me her newest ultrasound pics. And she was just so darn cute! Our previous visits, I was never real sure where this situation was going. This visit, though, (after everyone left) felt different. I can't really explain it, but Nick and I both noticed there was a difference.

A few days later I heard from IAC that they were ready to match! We were SO excited (and scared!). Agirl was due around Feb 12th. The end of Jan we made plans to get together and go shopping for little man. I was pretty nervous about this trip. Nick hates to shop (typical guy I guess) and he made it very obvious! But we had a good time! At that time little guy was due in 2 1/2 weeks and I kept thinking what if she goes into labor right now! Ha, but he was content during that trip.

On Feb 7th Aboy texts me that we should get our bags packed because Agirl's body was getting ready, and that he would keep me posted. About 2 hours later he called to let me know we should probably head to the hospital! I called Nick to come home and finished up last minute packing (especially for Miss K.) and trying to get it into the car. Nick came home and we decided to grab dinner on the way. We were thinking we had plenty of time - It takes 5 hours to get there and she was dilated to a 4 at 8 pm. We and nurses were thinking about 2 in the morn. Plenty of time right!? A little after 10 Aboy's mom texted me and said she was dilated to a NINE! Holy crap! We were still an hour out (damn dinner)  and then we had to take detour because there was a bad wreck (damnit again!). Anyhow a little later I get the text "Your son was born at 2245" I was overwhelmed, I was so happy, sad (that I couldn't be there) and scared. We arrived about 40 minutes later and met the little guy that became our son.

The thing I can't stop thinking of: I planted some daffodils in honor of our sweet little JB a few years ago. I have several planted but one is all by itself and each year if others come up around it I pull them because that one is Josephs flower. On the 7th, when we came home from ballet I noticed that single daffodil was blooming.

There are a lot of other little things that I have contemplated a lot on that one day I will probably talk about but right now this sweet little guy is needing me :)

 

Adoption Changes

We met the two year mark of officially waiting about three weeks ago. I say officially waiting because that is when our home study was approved. We started working with our agency in March 2010, so we are coming up on three years. It's very disheartening when I think of of it. Anyhow, we are finishing up paperwork for our home study update #2. We are also updating our profile and our letter. Although, I'm irritated at having to do all this updating, I'm excited to see how it looks when we are finished. Hopefully soon and I'll be sure to make a post of our new letter. (Which I think I've decided to design myself!) Here's to another year of waiting.

Difficult Days

I have to say that the hardest part of K deciding to parent has not been the fact that we "lost" the hope of that child, nor is it the disappointment of the relationship that we had built with her,  but it IS the days that we have spent trying to explain to our Miss K why baby A couldn't be her sister. Nick and I were always very, very careful with what we said to Miss K about K, her family, and her baby. We never said that this baby was going to be her sister, we always referred to baby A as K's baby. We have always been open with Miss K about adoption and what that might entail (in age appropriate terms), but we have also tried to be careful. I remember saying many, many times that I'm okay if my heart gets broken, but I don't want my girl's heart to get broken.

I thought we had a wonderful, wonderful relationship with her and her family. We really thought that it was the perfect situation for us and for them as well. We got along great, we had tons in common, we loved and cared about her very deeply. We had been talking with K for three months before her delivery. Nick and I had decided before hand that we did not want to bring Miss K to the hospital at all because we felt that it would be too difficult for her if things didn't work out. (And unfortunately we found out how difficult) We had decided though, that we would take K with us and she and one of our closets friends would stay in the hotel while Nick and I could be at the hospital with K. After baby A was born, K's family asked where Miss K was and encouraged us to bring her up to "meet her baby sister." Nick and I went back to the hotel that night and talked about it, and decided that maybe we should take Miss K. I can't say we were 100% comfortable about it, because we weren't, but after seeing how confident K was we wanted to show that we had the same confidence. The following day we did take K up to see baby A. We were sure to remind her that baby A was K's baby. Unfortunately, other's did not follow suit. Some of the birth family mentioned to Miss K about what a good big sister she will be. (and they were right, she WILL be) but with that person, and a few others saying something to Miss K about baby A being her sister, my girl assumed that baby A was her sister. Of course later that all changed. Then the difficult days started....

I had actually quit my job because I wanted to be a stay at home momma. I had called my boss and told her what happened and she offered my position back to me. Nick and I both took off work for a couple of days. Right away we noticed Miss K throwing horrendous fits. She has never been a child to act the way she was. The first tantrum was when we were in a grocery store and I felt so horrible because although she was throwing a fit because she didn't get  a toy, I knew deep down it had nothing to do with the toy. Every day she had at least one huge meltdown. Then when we went back to school she started in saying she didn't like school and she didn't want to go. We were both kinda blindsided. We had told her that baby A couldn't be with us and she asked many times about baby A and why her baby sister wasn't with her. We carefully explained that baby A wasn't her sister and that K decided she wanted to be her mommy. Many times she would ask when we were going to go see baby A again. This went on for several weeks. Finally, after a huge meltdown about having to "go home" I asked Miss K why she was throwing these fits when she never had before. Her reply, "Momma I'm just sad." I asked, "Why are you sad?" She says, "I don't know why, but I just am." I realized then, that we needed to have a serious talk with her about what had happened. So I (Nick wasn't home) sat down with her and we talked, and talked and talked some more. In her little four year mind (as far as I could gather) she thought that the reason baby A couldn't come home with us is because we had to go back to school. I told her that that wasn't the reason at all, but that K changed her mind. K thought that baby A was going to be her sister, but she decided instead to be her mommy, so baby A would be living with her and her family. Miss K had questions and I answered them the best I could. Lo and behold the next school day, trying to get her up was AWESOME. No meltdown, no tears, and no complaints! My poor girl's heart had been hurting and she didn't know how to express it other than acting out. Things went well for about a week, all of a sudden Miss K started telling lies.

Stupid lies, really, but nonetheless lies. Finally I said "Miss K we don't tell lies. It hurts Mommy and Daddy and God doesn't like it either." She continued on. One day not too long after that Miss K told a lie (about eating candy) and I asked her to tell me the truth. She continued to lie (thankfully she hadn't learned to lie well). Again I sat down with her and said, "Miss K we shouldn't tell lies." She looks at me and says, "Well adults lie when they change their minds." Oh boy. Right away, I knew exactly what she was talking about.. Although, we never once said that K lied, I can totally see why a four year old would think that. So I said, "You know Miss K, do you know how sad it made Mommy and Daddy and you when K changed her mind and said that Baby A couldn't come home with us?" She said, "Yes, very sad." I said, "Yep, that's what lying does. It hurts people and makes them sad, so we shouldn't do it." She said, "Okay, I'm sorry I lied." That night we read a book "Telling the Truth" and guess what? No more lying! Well, as of me sitting here and writing this!

I sure hope this is the end of all that mess and things continue to move forward.

The Longest Drive

I've debated and debated on whether or not I would post on here about our adoption match that went south, but I've finally decided that I will. Mainly because I know that there are other adoptive families out there that have been through something similar and I hope somehow our story may comfort or help others. In June (the 18th to be exact) we received an email from K saying she would like to get to know us better. Immediately we felt connected to K. We exchanged several emails and decided that we would like to meet. The beginning of July we met K, her mother, and her father. I have to say the meeting them was nerve racking! Almost like a blind date feeling, but all in all it seemed to go well. We continued to email and determined that we still liked each other and eventually (the end of July) K asked if we would like to match with her. We, of course, said YES! We cared, and loved her very much. She seemed like a perfect match for us. She had a great sense of humor, wonderful outlook on life and we had so much in common. We went on vacation the beginning of August and while coming back from vacation stopped off to visit with K and her family at their house. This visit seemed to go so much better, it was much more relaxed and easy going. That Monday (Aug 20th) we received an awesome phone call from IAC letting us know that K wanted to "officially match." We were over the moon!! On Aug 29th we had our match meeting. We were also able to meet J, the expectant father. He decided to sign his rights over that day. By that time there was only a week until K's due date! We were so excited and started getting everything prepared for baby girl. The 6th (Sept) came and went with no little one. On Sept 14th K texted and said she was going in to be induced. Nick and I rushed over to the hospital (about 2 1/2 hours from us). At the time we thought it was the longest car ride ever!

We get to the hospital and K was doing great! In pain, but soon she had an epidural and all was better. K had asked me to be in the delivery room with her. After 3 hours of pushing, baby girl was born at 7:01 pm. Pure sweetness. It's truly amazing how much I already loved that little girl. She was going to be monitored for a couple of hours in the nursery so Nick and I decided to go get something to eat and was going to come back. By the time we ate, though we realized it was late and we should get our Miss K to bed. (She was staying with a friend in a hotel) While at the hospital, the birth family had encouraged us to bring up Miss K the following day. Nick and I had planned on NOT taking her to the hospital, but with their confidence, decided we would.

We had never told K that this baby was her baby sister, instead we always said that it was K's baby, but she was deciding whether or not she wanted baby to be with our family. The following day (Sat) we get to the hospital and Miss K received a "Proud Big Sister" sticker at the front door. We didn't really say anything about it, because again, our feelings were that it's okay for us to get hurt, but not our girl. We get to K's room and hold and feed baby girl. Birth certificate was done with the name that we were going to name her, our last name because "She'll never need my last name." A couple times people mentioned about Miss K being a good big sister. K and I had a nice long talk about adoption and what I took as she was still very confident in her decision to place. That afternoon we decided to go back to the hotel for a bit and was going to go back up later. Our friend Stephanie and I went (they had said she was welcome to come up) up later that evening and spent a couple hours visiting and holding little miss. K was to sign relinquishment papers the next morning. After getting back to the hotel, Nick and I packed our little diaper bag, got the going home outfit all ready to go. Finally, after such a long time waiting, we were going to have our little baby! We went to bed and sometime after 11 pm K's dad called and said that they couldn't go through with it. To say that we were completely blindsided is an understatement. We cried and held each other all night long. I wanted to leave right then, but we knew we should at least let Miss K get her sleep. So we got up early the next morning and drove home. Now THAT was the longest drive ever.

Changes

We are going through quite a bit of changes. After the delivery and meeting of the sweet little baby that we thought was going to be ours, we have reflected A LOT on our adoption path.What is that saying "If I only knew then what I know now?" Well we would've definitely proceeded with adoption differently. We still are very certain that adoption is meant for us, but unfortunately we see it VERY differently now.

After our unmatch with K, we decided we needed to do some serious updating to our profile. We are starting with what's called the "Task Force Review." Which basically means that a team at IAC will be reviewing our letter and making suggestions for improvements. We never had a personal web page, as it was not mandatory, but I am currently in the process of finishing that up. We are going to start our own advertising specific to our personal page versus our i heart profile on IAC's website.

We also have decided to go on the LMHL with our agency. We really don't think we will benefit much from this, but we now feel that any little bit of exposure may help.

Here's to 22 months of waiting and ??? more!

Eighteen Months

Wow, 18 months ago (plus 1 day, but whose counting?!) we went "live" with IAC.  For "longer than average" waiting family IAC offers different services.

At the one year mark, if you recall, we had the option of going on the LMHL (last minute hospital list). We decided not to at the time and told ourselves that we would re-evaluate come the 18 month mark, (not really thinking we would STILL be waiting :) ) Anyhow, here we are, and as of this moment we are still opting out of that. I would like to say it is mostly all the same reasons (not impulse people) but that's not completely true. Another reason, that we have discussed is how difficult it would be for us to drop everything and go. Nick's work is pretty flexible, as is mine, so that's a non issue. What would arise though, is finding a sitter for Miss K at the drop of a hat. Which, when I think about it, probably wouldn't be that difficult, because our close friends live next door, but it would make us feel awful leaving her like that. We really want her to be involved as much as possible, but her 4 year old attention span is fairly short :) With a little planning (a couple months) I think we would be able to figure out better arrangements for her, and prepare her a little better.

At 18 months you have the option of letting your letter and website go under what is called "Task Force Review". I personally think that sounds a little scary, but I'm sure it's not! The task force,  which includes several letter experts throughout the agency would review our letter and website and make recommendations of what to change, add, etc.

IAC will automatically purchase Google Ads, specifically to our family, at 18 months. 

They also offer what is called the "Top 50 List." IAC keeps a list of the “Top 50” longest waiting families. This list is always changing because as people match, they come off the list, and new people are added to the bottom of the list. There is no set time frame for a family to become eligible for this list. Right now, we aren't close to this list. We are about 80 down, but with a lot of faith and prayers we are hoping to adopt before we would reach the Top 50. :)  

IAC also offers their statistics freely, which I love! 

Average (mean) wait time: 14.8 months
Median wait time: 12 months

50% of families have a placement within 12 months
70% of families have a placement within 18 months
81% of families have a placement within 24 months
90% of families have a placement within 29 months

We didn't make the 70%, but that means our baby just wasn't ready yet! 

Update In the Adoption World

Well, I realize I haven't mentioned adoption in quite some time. There really hasn't been anything worth mentioning. All of our clearances and whatnot are updated and we had our home visit for the home study update as well.

We have less traffic (compared to last year at this time) to our website. Less traffic as in no traffic, so that is somewhat disheartening. We have had a few (4) contacts this year. So far those contacts haven't amounted to "the one," but at least I"m getting plenty of practice.

We recently decided to do some additional advertising. Whether that helps or not, I guess we will find out, but at least it makes it feel that we are doing "something."

Here's to more waiting!!

LMHL

What does that stand for!? Last Minute Hospital List... If you think about it just a little you might be able to figure it out but I'll go ahead and explain. :)  This is a last minute situation, an expecting mother did not make an adoption plan, but while in labor or soon after delivery decided she would like to place her baby for adoption. These cases are not all that common with our agency. Being on the list would mean that if there was a situation within a 4 hour radius of us, we would be called and would have to make a decision within 30 minutes on whether or not to proceed. A waiting family can potentially have a baby within 4 hours! How exciting is that!

Our agency offers clients that have been "waiting" for a year to go on this "list." Nick and I have been waiting a little over a year and we have been offered to go on the LMHL. So what does this mean for us? Absolutely nothing! We have opted not to go on the list. This whole year we always said that we wouldn't go on the list. We never expected to have the opportunity to go on the list (we thought we would adopt before our year mark). The waiting downright stinks, it's such an emotional roller coaster, and in all honesty I'm at one of my lowest points with "dealing" with waiting. As much as having a baby in an instant appeals to us, we couldn't do it. Nick and I are not impulse people. We like to think things thoroughly, over analyze, and discuss beyond measure. I've always thought those were wonderful traits, but now I'm not so sure.

I've said this the last 2 years, but I guess maybe the 3rd time's a charm: This year is going to be "our" year!

The Happenings

I haven't updated in awhile because really there hasn't been much that I wanted to say...  In Sept. we were contacted by email from an expectant mother considering adoption. She was young, fairly early in her pregnancy, and just trying to get a feel for adoption. I instantly felt good about the email/contact, but there were a couple of factors that held us back from getting too excited. After a couple of weeks of emailing, she stopped all contact. We were not at all surprised when she didn't email again  We truly believe that due to those factors she decided to either parent, or hold off on adoption at this time. I still think about her and I wish her well and good luck.

I can say I was a little bummed about her not emailing again. It is very hard not to get your hopes up. I was so excited to just get a contact.. We knew very well that it may not go anywhere, but SOMEBODY liked us enough to email!!! WOOHOO!! 


We went about our lives and had been discussing other avenues of networking, because after 10 months of waiting (officially) we were just tired of waiting! Then at the end of October, we received an email from a different expecting mother considering adoption. After the Sept. mom, I knew I shouldn't jump to conclusions. After a few days, and she was still emailing us (she still liked us!) I began to let a little hope creep in. She is due soon, and I think the idea of a baby that quickly just took a hold of me. After a couple of weeks and they were still emailing...I let A LOT of hope in... too much actually. There wasn't any red flags to speak of, only one small bump, but was soon put to rest after I talked with our agency. It's quite nerve racking... to know that you are *this* close to either having your dreams come true, or squashed.

We continued to email trying to get to know each other for several weeks. The Sunday before Thanksgiving she emailed and said they were going to take the next few days to talk things over and make their decision. How completely and utterly nerve racking! But as nervous as I was sitting and worrying about whether or not they were going to "pick" us, I couldn't help but think about them and how this decision would forever change their lives. How heartbreaking this whole process is for them. I had been praying heavily over this situation, and many times I had prayed for this to be the "one" for us, but I also prayed for peace, strength, and understanding for them. I've never not included them in my prayers, because I know without them our dreams wouldn't have the chance of coming true.

Sunday night they emailed us their decision. They chose another family. As much as I understand their reasons, and deep down I know this must not be the "one," I am heartbroken.

In light of that, we will continue on. We will see about other avenues for networking. We still have to finish up our home study and get pictures for a new profile!

Mom, Is He Still Looking?

As I'm getting Miss K ready for bed, she looks at me and asks, "Mom, is God still looking for my brother or sister?"
I said, "Yes, sweetie. One day you will have one, but God is looking for the baby that will be perfect for our family."
K: "Well, I really just want a sister now, not a boy one, so do you think He will remember that?"
Me: "I think so, but we should be happy with either." 
K: "We have to have a special Mommy, right?" 
Me: "Yes, we do."
K: "Mom, what is taking so long? I really want a sister."
Me: "Well, we just have to wait for the perfect baby."

Then she proceeded to tell me all the reasons she wanted a baby sister, and all the things she was going to teach "her" baby. Like bouncing on knees, crawling, and walking.

A Few Sneak Peaks

We are making a little head way with what has become known as "the baby's room." We (I did actually, but of course asked if Nick was okay with it) decided to decorate with turtles. I've always loved turtles, and over the years, have collected, and received several for gifts. I thought it was only fitting for something that could possibly take a long time, but well worth the wait! We aren't close to being finished yet, but I was a little excited with what has come together so I had to share it with some/anyone!

Three Women and a Lady

So here I was sitting with two very obvious pregnant women. (Normally I wouldn't be in this type of setting, but I was trying to mingle) Another lady walks up and sits down as well. It goes something like this:
Lady says to 1st woman: It's nice to meet you! How far along are you?
1st woman answers
Lady: Is this your first child?
1st woman answers
Lady: Oh, that's wonderful, what a blessing. Is it a boy or girl?
1st woman anwers
Lady to ME: "Do you only have one child?"
Me: Yes
Lady to Me: Are you going to have more?
Me: Well, umm my husband and I are in the process of adopting.
Lady to Me: Oh, I hear that takes a long time."
Me: Yes it can.
Lady to Me: Why are you adopting?
Me: I would suppose the same reason these women are pregnant....
Lady to Me: Well, good luck to you."
Lady to 2nd woman: "Is this your first pregnancy?"
2nd woman answers, Lady continues asking Woman 1&2 questions regarding pregnancy and children and not another word to me.
Needless to say I was ready to burst into tears....

First off, I find it offensive when people ask me if I'm going to have more children. Really, do you need to tell me that adoption can take a long time? Do you really think that I don't know this!? And the 2nd question completely BLEW me away... a person would never ask a pregnant woman why she was pregnant... This is not the first time (nor will it be the last I'm sure) that I've heard hurtful comments. I've realized that the statement "Good luck" is a dismissing of the topic. There was/is clearly a different vibe I get from others when adoption is mentioned. Almost like I can't be included in their talk because I'm expanding my family differently. People (women mostly) tend to get all excited when a pregnant woman is around, but yet they can't show me the same amount of excitement. I know we are becoming a family in a different way, but it's just as exciting for us. I don't understand why others can't see that as well. And that's my gripe today! I promise I won't gripe anymore! (for awhile!)

Short and Sweet

I realized that I haven't written (err typed) on this blog in a month! So here's a quick little update!






























Yep that's about it! Okay, okay I'll elaborate a little! As far as the adoption, well it's still going. So far, no contacts. We are starting to work on all of our paperwork again, as it has to be updated every 12 months. September marks our  8 month waiting anniversary of being "on the books." And, I think that's about it! Short and sweet (like me!).

Twins

As I was reading a book last night to K for bed, The New Baby, we come to the part about Mrs. Bunn being in the hospital room with two other mothers. One of the mother's has twins. K says "Mom, I'm going to have twins." I said, "You are! That would be wonderful." She said,"Yeah, a baby brother and a baby sister and me, that makes three mom. Three of us!" The fact that she STILL wants a baby brother AND sister speaks loud volumes. I love how she throws her addition learning into her statement but the way she said "three of us" kinda scares me. Almost like she's already planning little children against parent tactics...

Time is slowing down...

or so it seems! We've been "officially" waiting for 6 months now. The first three months flew by! These last few... not so much :( For a number of reasons I'm sure. These are the reasons I have come up with 1.) Although "officially" waiting for a baby for six months, it's been more like 2 1/2 years or so. 2.) Miss K is adamant about getting a baby brother or sister - now. And it's getting harder and harder trying to explain the situation to her. 3.) I'm going to be the big 30 this year. Although that shouldn't matter either way. It's in the back of my mind that my age is going to make a huge difference . 4.) There seems to have been an abundant amount of pregnancy/newborn news. Or maybe I'm just noticing it more. Anyhow, it doesn't make waiting easier. I know I've said this a gazillion times.... and I'll say it again.(and probably again) I do NOT want to speed up the process for the birth mom. It's going to be an extemely difficult time for her, and for her sake I'm okay with waiting. In due time, "our' birth mom will find us and it will lead to the baby meant for us!