Taken Away

Many family/friends have shown concern over the issue of OPEN adoption. The question I get asked the MOST is, "Aren't you afraid the birth mom is going to come take her baby back? She'll know where you live...." The answer to this question is NO! I'm not worried about that aspect. The decision is going to be hers, and with it being an open adoption I like to think that she will have no questions whether or not she did the "right" thing. She will see her child being cared for and loved and I would hope that would help ease some feelings of grief.


Another question I've been asked is "Are you scared of not bonding with a new baby?" This question bothers me some, because I don't think someone would ask a biological parent that. You would only assume if a woman carries her child she will bond. I think every mother, deep down, has a fear of not bonding, but I can say that I'm not concerned about it. Yes, an amazing, strong woman will have carried this child and brought this child into the world, but I believe that the child will be meant for us.


What am I worried about? Many things as a new parent! Like are my children going to get along. Is K going to be jealous, and how are we going to handle the situation? Especially with it being an adoption, I do worry about questions coming up and how to answer. All I do know, is that we are planning to be very open about it, and talk about it. It will NOT be something to be ashamed of, but rather to feel blessed about. I think too, that with questions it's going to be helpful having birth mom available to answer some. I think what I'm worried about most is the grief that birth family is going to go through. Honestly, it breaks my heart when I think of it. I know it's going to be difficult for her and her family, even if she doesn't realize exactly how much yet.

A Mail Mishap

Well, I finally got all of our information to the agency. Yes, I know I'm terrible I said it an earlier post that I already sent it, and I really was going to except that, my husband still needed to get some of his paperwork together, and I was still waiting on some information from my doctor. Anyhow, so I sent it out last Monday, and this week I realized I haven't been notified that they received it (as I have with everything else). So I sent an email asking... and their address has changed and I sent it to the wrong blamin' one! For a split second, I panicked. Then I took a deep breath and said "It'll be okay, and it'll eventually get there." Hopefully...

On a better note, the context of our DBL has been approved and I just submitted the actual letter (all prettied up) for approval. I'm working on our website, and have it the way I want it, but although it's the exact same information as the letter, I'm having a hard time sending it for approval. It's becoming all too real! In a good way of couse.

Oh and I also bought a swing! A lady down the street from me was having a yard sale and she said it was rarely used, and it totally looks it. The fabric is in excellent shape as well as the "feet" where it would be sitting and scooting on the floor. I love that it's a take along swing, and it's super easy to fold up!

I just may be in love....

with a cloth diaper that is! I've been researching for the last 6 months or so about cloth diapers. I had actually decided when I was pregnant the 2nd time that I wanted to use cloth diapers. I, having never used them, didn't know a thing about them! I never realized all the different kinds! They sure have come a long way from the white ones with cutesy safety pins that I had always pictured a cloth diaper looking like. I really want to start making them, and I found many free patterns online that I printed out. But I'm not the best sewer around, so they weren't near as detailed as I needed. Anyhow, after all this looking on the internet, reading blogs and forums, and talking with a girl I know that uses them, I think I finally found the one! I was so excited in fact that I called my mom about material, elastic, and snaps. (She owns a quilting shop and thought she might be able to find supplies for me and she would totally understand why I was so thrilled to be making diapers!). I ordered my snap pliers and snaps and they should be here by the end of the week! I also ordered fabric to get me started.

I did try making a little AIO sample diaper and it's super easy! I've decided though, for now, I'm going to make some trainers for K. She's potty trained, but she has a difficult time making it all the way through the night. I think, for now, we need the trainers more than diapers. Either way, I'm pretty stoked about my new project!

And a tumbling we will go!

Miss K started tumbling classes this year and she LOVES it! Her attention span is a bit short, but she tries hard and she sure looks cute doing it! She gets so excited when we are getting ready to go and when she tells Nick about it she says "Guess what me did today Dad?" She explains it the best way she knows how.... acting it out! "Me did a bear walk, and me did somersaults!" All the while she is walking like a bear (well, kinda) and doing somersaults. She loves doing those. In class this week she went the length and back of the room 2 or 3 times! Her instructor is wonderful, and I can honestly say I don't know HOW she does it! All those little munchkins running around! Its a fun time, for me as well. I love watching all the little ones, to the nervousness of trying something new, to the shear joy of doing it! And of course the best part of class? The sucker afterwards!

Round Two

Yet another anonymous post.

Once again, I'm not changing the wording only posting to reflect on the writers words.

I'm begging you as well to reconsider. I'm an adoptee and I wish someone had spoken on my behalf when I was unable to. My purchase price was around $30,000 not counting miscellaneous expenses like out-of-state pick up. If someone had given my natural mother even half of that, I wouldn't have had to be ripped away from her.

By the time I found her later in life it was too late. She's a lovely lady and a good mom (to my brothers), and we both wanted a relationship. We have tried so hard. But we are broken. She's not my mom anymore. And my search/reunion broke apart my adoptive family and my relationship. They weren't bad people. They were mis/uninformed. Now I have no family.

If you truly love this baby, think of him or her. Stop thinking of yourselves and your crazy desire to obtain another child at any cost. Adoption wasn't created to get babies for needy couples. It was to find homes for needy children.

Why not look into an older child adoption from foster care? Or at least an open adoption where the child can develop a relationship with his/her biological family too? That is "doing what's best for the child" and not just what's easiest for you.

This post actually really hurts my heart. I can't even imagine the hurt that the poster feels/has felt. I don't feel that financial reasons are the only reasons that women place their babies. I don't know this particular situation, but I know (or I like to think) that all women want what is BEST for their child! They want their child to have the best possible life and she knows she is going to be unable to provide that. Money is a temporary thing and I really can't say that I believe if giving the birth mom $15,000 that the child would have had the best life. Yes she ( I assume poster is a she) would've been able to stay with birth mom, but that money would've run out quickly. There is all kinds of financial help out there, a person just has to be willing to look for it. And who knows? Maybe child would've been able to stay with birth mom until that money ran out and then what would have happened?

I would've had a lot more respect if poster would've stopped there, and not written those last two paragraphs. I do not think it in any way or form that it is crazy to have the desire to "obtain" a child at any cost. Having biological children costs money as well. As in prenatal care, doctor visits during pregnancy, hospital stay, as well as the baby's stay in the hospital, mom's follow up appointment. Having something unexpected happen can only makes those costs rise. So my point here is. Say You've dreamed all of your life to have a baby. You become pregnant, and have no insurance. You are thoroughly excited and love your baby more than anything in the world. You know you want to parent your child. Your bills keep adding up, but you gratefully pay them. You begin labor and go to the hospital. Something unexpected comes up and it's going to cost you even MORE money than what you where expecting. Do you say, "Oh nope sorry, don't want to parent this baby anymore, because it didn't cost exactly what you told me it was going to." You wouldn't parent this child at any cost? "Obtaining" a child, whether it's biologically or through adoption is (IMO) about love and if it's a desire for you to have a child/more children, you would do whatever possible to make that happen. There is nothing wrong with trying to make dreams come true. Adoption for needy children is a two way street. I would think you would want "needy couples" to parent a baby that was placed for adoption rather than Joe Schmoe down the street that doesn't care one way or another.

Last paragraph, do research before you comment on something you know nothing about! My husband and I did look into foster care. We decided not to pursue it AT THIS TIME. But it is always in the back of my mind. We will have an open adoption because once again, I don't believe in closed adoption. And the last sentence... wow, I think that was only written to get under my skin. Which is okay. She posted her opinion and now here's the truth. Adoption is not "easy" for anyone involved. Not for birth mom, not for adoptee, and not for adoptive parents. But I do totally agree that OPEN adoption is what is best for everyone involved.

Audrey

My sister sent an email to me today and this is an excerpt from it:

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

This poem was written by Audrey Hepburn when she was asked to share her "beauty tips."

I had to share for two reasons:

1. I think at times we all forget at least one of these things. We seem to get caught up in what we think and want and forget to take a step back and look at the situation from the other point of view. I'm guilty as charged!

2. I love Audrey Hepburn. She, in my opinion, is one of the most beautiful ladies of all time!

Camping Trip

Labor Day weekend we went camping with some great friends. It was K's first time camping, so we weren't sure how she was going to act. Well, she is much like her mom and dad... she LOVES it! She was so excited to take her tinkerbell sleeping bag, although it was a bit hot to actually sleep in it!

She went fishing for the first time with Daddy and caught her first fish!

She learned how to skip rocks with Mommy...

She got to swing/hang on a vine.


















Nick made a new friend....




















C and I decided to cook a couple meals by method of dutch oven. We had to switch up a couple things because the guys weren't all that willing to dig a hole to put it in, so we put it on the campfire and put coals around it, and on top as well. We were so excited about the beef stew. Unfortunately we didn't know that by cooking it this way it cooks about 10x faster, so it didn't turn out so well....

Sooo.... We had this instead!

By the last night, we had it all down and had a wonderful meal. Although I'm a pretty big fan of hotdogs, so I didn't mind eating them. Next time, we know if it says cook for an hour, it's more like 20 minutes! I'm glad we had the chance to go, we all had a wonderful time!