Round Two

Yet another anonymous post.

Once again, I'm not changing the wording only posting to reflect on the writers words.

I'm begging you as well to reconsider. I'm an adoptee and I wish someone had spoken on my behalf when I was unable to. My purchase price was around $30,000 not counting miscellaneous expenses like out-of-state pick up. If someone had given my natural mother even half of that, I wouldn't have had to be ripped away from her.

By the time I found her later in life it was too late. She's a lovely lady and a good mom (to my brothers), and we both wanted a relationship. We have tried so hard. But we are broken. She's not my mom anymore. And my search/reunion broke apart my adoptive family and my relationship. They weren't bad people. They were mis/uninformed. Now I have no family.

If you truly love this baby, think of him or her. Stop thinking of yourselves and your crazy desire to obtain another child at any cost. Adoption wasn't created to get babies for needy couples. It was to find homes for needy children.

Why not look into an older child adoption from foster care? Or at least an open adoption where the child can develop a relationship with his/her biological family too? That is "doing what's best for the child" and not just what's easiest for you.

This post actually really hurts my heart. I can't even imagine the hurt that the poster feels/has felt. I don't feel that financial reasons are the only reasons that women place their babies. I don't know this particular situation, but I know (or I like to think) that all women want what is BEST for their child! They want their child to have the best possible life and she knows she is going to be unable to provide that. Money is a temporary thing and I really can't say that I believe if giving the birth mom $15,000 that the child would have had the best life. Yes she ( I assume poster is a she) would've been able to stay with birth mom, but that money would've run out quickly. There is all kinds of financial help out there, a person just has to be willing to look for it. And who knows? Maybe child would've been able to stay with birth mom until that money ran out and then what would have happened?

I would've had a lot more respect if poster would've stopped there, and not written those last two paragraphs. I do not think it in any way or form that it is crazy to have the desire to "obtain" a child at any cost. Having biological children costs money as well. As in prenatal care, doctor visits during pregnancy, hospital stay, as well as the baby's stay in the hospital, mom's follow up appointment. Having something unexpected happen can only makes those costs rise. So my point here is. Say You've dreamed all of your life to have a baby. You become pregnant, and have no insurance. You are thoroughly excited and love your baby more than anything in the world. You know you want to parent your child. Your bills keep adding up, but you gratefully pay them. You begin labor and go to the hospital. Something unexpected comes up and it's going to cost you even MORE money than what you where expecting. Do you say, "Oh nope sorry, don't want to parent this baby anymore, because it didn't cost exactly what you told me it was going to." You wouldn't parent this child at any cost? "Obtaining" a child, whether it's biologically or through adoption is (IMO) about love and if it's a desire for you to have a child/more children, you would do whatever possible to make that happen. There is nothing wrong with trying to make dreams come true. Adoption for needy children is a two way street. I would think you would want "needy couples" to parent a baby that was placed for adoption rather than Joe Schmoe down the street that doesn't care one way or another.

Last paragraph, do research before you comment on something you know nothing about! My husband and I did look into foster care. We decided not to pursue it AT THIS TIME. But it is always in the back of my mind. We will have an open adoption because once again, I don't believe in closed adoption. And the last sentence... wow, I think that was only written to get under my skin. Which is okay. She posted her opinion and now here's the truth. Adoption is not "easy" for anyone involved. Not for birth mom, not for adoptee, and not for adoptive parents. But I do totally agree that OPEN adoption is what is best for everyone involved.

Audrey

My sister sent an email to me today and this is an excerpt from it:

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

This poem was written by Audrey Hepburn when she was asked to share her "beauty tips."

I had to share for two reasons:

1. I think at times we all forget at least one of these things. We seem to get caught up in what we think and want and forget to take a step back and look at the situation from the other point of view. I'm guilty as charged!

2. I love Audrey Hepburn. She, in my opinion, is one of the most beautiful ladies of all time!

Camping Trip

Labor Day weekend we went camping with some great friends. It was K's first time camping, so we weren't sure how she was going to act. Well, she is much like her mom and dad... she LOVES it! She was so excited to take her tinkerbell sleeping bag, although it was a bit hot to actually sleep in it!

She went fishing for the first time with Daddy and caught her first fish!

She learned how to skip rocks with Mommy...

She got to swing/hang on a vine.


















Nick made a new friend....




















C and I decided to cook a couple meals by method of dutch oven. We had to switch up a couple things because the guys weren't all that willing to dig a hole to put it in, so we put it on the campfire and put coals around it, and on top as well. We were so excited about the beef stew. Unfortunately we didn't know that by cooking it this way it cooks about 10x faster, so it didn't turn out so well....

Sooo.... We had this instead!

By the last night, we had it all down and had a wonderful meal. Although I'm a pretty big fan of hotdogs, so I didn't mind eating them. Next time, we know if it says cook for an hour, it's more like 20 minutes! I'm glad we had the chance to go, we all had a wonderful time!

Rightful Mother

So I recently got a few nasty posts from bitter and angry people from the closed adoption world. I truly feel sorry for them, and anyone else that has been in an unpleasant adoption. Not all adoptions are unpleasant, In fact, I personally know of several that have been successful. I am going to repost a few of the comments, just to reflect on them. I am not changing any of the wording...

This was the first comment left by an anonymous person

Yes, I would be happy to donate, via paypal, whatever it costs to keep this baby with it's rightful mother. Those babies sure are sweet when they are babies, and they can't tell you how it hurts to be snatched from the woman they have lived and only known for 9 months. It's primal, it's natural, it's spiritual. Sad to say, those babies, do in fact, grow up. When they can voice their opinion, and they will, I promise you, they will tell you how wrong they think it is to be snatched away from their God-given right. Please think of the babies. Please read Primal Wound. Please don't delete this because it's not your view. Please be brave, and not a coward, and listen to the people who have been those babies snatched from their mommies. Please, I beg you. Reconsider. Your God will provide your womb as a safe place for your baby, IF HE deems you to be a mother one day.

So anyone that knows me at all, can probably point out why this one got under my skin a little. But for those of you who don't know me (as the poster obviously doesn't) I will make some points.

First and foremost we will not "snatch" a baby away from his/her mother. Mother will place her baby with us.

Babies grow up, duh, I'm not quite that unintelligent! It is difficult to raise any child, biological or adopted. I realize that an adopted child will have many questions, for this reason (among many others) we will have an open adoption. I do not believe in closed adoptions, and posts like this one reaffirms my feelings on closed adoptions.

I love to read, so I'm grateful for the recommendation on a new read! Thanks for that!

Now on to the God part. One, you don't know "who" my God is. I certainly do NOT believe that a woman can't be a mother because medically she isn't able to bear children. And since God was brought up, how about let us use the bible as a reference to adoption?

The book of Exodus tells the story of a Hebrew woman named Jochebed who bore a son during a time when Pharaoh had ordered all Hebrew male infants to be put to death (Exodus 1:15-22). Jochebed took a basket, waterproofed it, and sent the baby down the river in the basket. One of Pharaoh's daughters spotted the basket and retrieved the child. She eventually adopted him into the royal family and gave him the name Moses. He went on to become a faithful and blessed servant of God (Exodus 2:1-10)

Bringing a person into a family by means of adoption is done by choice and out of love. "His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave Him great pleasure" (Ephesians 1:5). As God adopts those who receive Christ as Savior into His spiritual family, so should we all prayerfully consider adopting children into our own physical families.

CLEARLY, adoption - both in the physical and spiritual sense - is shown in a favorable light in Scripture.

Another point I'd like to make, according to the poster a "rightful mother" is a birth mother. I don't agree with this. What about the babies that are being abused (emotionally or physically) by their birth mother? Is birth mom still the rightful mother? Child should always stay with the woman who who gave birth to her? If you ask me, when BIRTH MOM is making the choice, she will choose what is right for her baby. If she chooses to parent, then that is a wonderful thing! But there is nothing wrong with a woman choosing to place her baby for adoption with loving parents.

Dear Birthmother Letter

First off, let me just say, I really don't like the phrase "Birthmother Letter."

Okay, now, I can continue on.... I just sent in my 1st draft of the DBL. Literallly, I just hit send, and I seriously just got heartburn. Haha, nervous much? Yeah, I am. I know it's going to be butchered and I'm going to have to write and rewrite again, but it's almost like the end is near. It's kind of a scary feeling, good, but scary.

Oh and I also called about our FBI fingerprinting and they are being processed, but not completed yet. Blah! I'm hopeful that they will be finished by the end of this month!

I love to see those figures!

So, I've been trying my hand at "couponing" the last several months. As in my last blog about it, we are putting all the money we are saving by my "couponing" into our adoption fund. I do know that we are saving money by doing this. Lately, though sales really haven't been that great, so I haven't been doing it as often. I just clipped all my coupons this week, I was pretty excited about the P&G coupons in this weeks paper :) I decided to jump onto the website that I use most often to see what sales are going on. To visit this site click here. I happened to notice the new commissary sales are posted, I clicked there and I found that you can sign up for P&G coupons to use at the commissary! The greatest part about using these coupons is they donate to the USO. To sign up for those coupons visit this site. Awesomeness! I'm super stoked. I definitely see a commissary trip in my very near future!

And so I decided since I talked about my savings I would add it up real quick and go ahead and post it here.

May through August I have saved $492.84.
I'm sure that we have saved much more, because my little one did get into my receipts a couple times, and I think a few were "misplaced." Even without those few receipts, I think it's some great savings! I might add too that the figure that I came up with is the amount of coupons added with the amount saved that prints out on receipts. As in the sale item. This number does not reflect shopping at the commissary which is usually less expensive than the grocery stores.

Breastfeeding Your Baby

I'm very curious about this. I think it is a wonderful thing and I know it's possible to breastfeed adopted babies. Are any of my "adoption" readers planning on doing this? Do you have a website about it that has been useful? How would I go about getting started?

My husband is not sure about it, only because when I tried to breastfeed our daughter, it didn't turn out well. She didn't latch well and we would both end up crying at each feeding. After 5 weeks I decided to start bottle feeding her. Needless to say, Nick had a very difficult time seeing his two girls so upset. Even though it was more difficult that I expected it to be, I'm still willing to try again. I just have no idea where to begin or what to do!

I'm not too worried about it after getting started, I have some amazing friends that I think would be willing to help me and I'm pretty sure there are classes in my area.

Any thoughts or advice is welcome!