Address In the Stars

My little girl turned 3 today! Wow, what a day! She's growing up so fast and I'm just not prepared for it. She says, "Now that I'm older I can ______." I'll tell more details of her party on the next post. This one is a little more vulnerable. Today was a rough day for me, and not for the reasons you're probably thinking. Not because K turned three, but because her baby brother should be here celebrating with her. It breaks my heart. I know that she doesn't know any different, but I do. All I wanted was our baby, for K to have a sibling to play with. How I prayed and prayed for it (hearing the news that our baby didn't have a heartbeat) not to be true. I'm still waiting for the day that I can think about it and not cry. I know I've learned so much throughout this whole experience and I know I have tons more to learn. But man, is life unfair! I was lying in bed, trying to sleep. Really I was just crying and thinking about the night I went to the emergency room. I wanted to hear a song I had heard on the radio a long time ago. So I got up and found it and listened to it. Music (all kinds) has always been soothing to me. The song I listened (am listening) to is by Caitlin &Will called Address In The Stars. You can listen to it here. The chorus touches me tonight and pretty much sums up how I'm feeling. "What do I do with all I need to say? So much I wanna tell you everyday. Oh it breaks my heart, I cry these tears in the dark. I write these letters to you, But they get lost in the blue, 'Cause there's no address in the stars."