Hard to Imagine

It's very difficult to think that, if life had gone exactly how Nick and I planned, we would have a child turning four this month. FOUR! I often wonder what his personality would've been like, what kinds of things he would be "in" to, would he and Miss K be the best of buds or at each others throats? There is still an ache in my heart and I wish I could've seen him in person to tell him goodbye.

I am very aware that life would be very different had he lived. As much as I wish we wouldn't have lost our little guy, I know he wasn't meant to be here on earth with us. And I certainly can't imagine life without our sweet guy now. I know C because I did not know JB. 

So, in closing, I have to thank our sweet little angel for all that he has given us without ever setting foot on this earth.

Thank you my little JB. You are in my heart always.

Six Months

Our little guy is already six months old! He's happy, healthy and brings an incredible joy into our lives. I'm pretty certain he has everyone wrapped around his little pinky.

Mom, Why Did You Adopt C?

This is the question our five year old, Miss K, asked me.

I replied, "Well, we've talked about this before. Because Daddy and I wanted another little baby."

She says, "And..."

I say, "And because we wanted you to have a sibling."

Again she says, "And..."

So I go on and say, "Well sweetie, we met A and A and we loved them too and wanted them in our lives and they asked us to be C's family. And...

She says, "And because you wanted him to pee in your face?"

<insert belly laughing here>

So today's lesson? I need to lighten up. Not all questions are meant to be deep.

Shopping Trip

I just had an urge to write this morning and this is what hit me. This shopping trip for C. I remember on the way there Nick and I were so nervous and scared. We kept asking each other, surely this will happen if we go shopping together right? I mean if we buy all this little boy stuff and it doesn't work out what are we going to do with it? I know with our previous match I did buy little girl things and that was one of the hardest things to do... as a matter of fact I didn't take them back until after this shopping trip to exchange them for little boy items. After we got there, and I saw how Agirl's face lit up while shopping, most of my fears vanished. Whether or not placement was going to work out, I decided I could enjoy this with her. She loves to shop! Her joy for it was infectious. Nick hates to shop, well except for hunting and fishing, but there at the end? Even he was looking around for little boy items. I remember we kept trying to figure out what season it would be for the age of clothing! I really wanted a picture of all of us together. I had taken my camera with me every time we had visited with them, but I always forgot to ask to take pictures. Not this time! At this particular picture is on a shelf in C's room. This day was a huge day for Nick and I! I think after this day is when reality hit us, we were matched with this amazing couple considering us to be parents! Dreaming and wishing and hoping for this little guy began!!

Our Little Ballerina

Miss K has finished up another year of ballet. I think she is the most beautiful little ballerina. EVER.

Three Months

I can't believe our little guy is three months old today. It really does seem like yesterday that we got the call that we needed to head to the hospital. It is going by fast and it brings tears to my eyes. I find myself doing less and less housework and more holding him, staring at him and just ENJOYING him. He's a dream come true and I can't imagine having a more perfect baby.

 He makes my heart sing.

How Could She Do That?

I've been asked this question so many times of Corbin's birth mother (which I hate that title because although she is, she is so much more!).

It usually goes something like this...

How could she do that? How could any mother carry her child for 9 months and then just give him away? Although, I'm glad because now you have a baby, but I just don't understand how anyone could do that.

Time and time again I answer with, "She loved him enough to place him with us." When people ask these questions it seriously makes me cringe, because I always think... If you only knew how great her and Aboy's love is for C you wouldn't even open your mouth! I know without a doubt that they love C, and because of that love they were able to place him in our arms. I believe if they had loved him any less, they wouldn't have gone through that heartbreaking decision. I'm so grateful for them and I'm so thankful to have birth parents that love and care for him as much as they do.

I can see the love every time they hold him or look at him. Can't you?