One Year

Approximately one year ago we were devastated. The prospective birth mother that we had grown to care about and love had changed her mind and decided to parent after the birth of her daughter. Nick and I were talking today how so much has changed in a year. A year ago, we thought that just might be the end of our adoption journey. After such a heart wrenching loss we weren't sure we could continue. Nick said, "Everything worked out perfectly" I have to agree. Knowing now, what I wish I knew then, that situation wasn't going to work out from the beginning. It wasn't all for naught though. I learned A LOT, and because of that crappy situation, I tend to be more loving and patient with C's birth parents. Things aren't always easy, but I'm so thankful for birth family that was willing to allow A and A make the decision that was best for little man. Everyone has received us with open arms. Although there were family members that supported A parenting, those same people supported her decision to place C in our home. We continue to have a relationship with them and I'm so incredibly thankful for C (and us) to have so many loving, kind people in our lives. It truly is amazing how much life can change in a year. I'm hugging my babies super tight tonight.

Angel of Miracles

My sister bought me an angel pin. I loved it!! BUT it was a pin and seriously who wears those under the age of 60? So after much debating I asked my handy dandy husband if he could take off the back of it for me. He did and I turned my beautiful angel into a necklace. I'm hoping to get a couple charms for K and C to complete it, but I really love it as it is :) Thank you for my thoughtful sister and keeping my sweet angel alive :)

Angel of Miracles

May this special angel

Always let you know

Miracles surround us

Wherever we go

First Day of Kindergerten

Miss K has been overly excited about starting kindergarten this year. I was really hoping her expectations weren't too high, but it seems they weren't. She had a fabulous first day! I missed her like crazy and felt empty and lost without her. I'm very grateful that she is excited to learn.

Here we go!

In front of the school

So excited

Waiting on sissy to get home

There she is!

Glad to see this girl!

Hard to Imagine

It's very difficult to think that, if life had gone exactly how Nick and I planned, we would have a child turning four this month. FOUR! I often wonder what his personality would've been like, what kinds of things he would be "in" to, would he and Miss K be the best of buds or at each others throats? There is still an ache in my heart and I wish I could've seen him in person to tell him goodbye.

I am very aware that life would be very different had he lived. As much as I wish we wouldn't have lost our little guy, I know he wasn't meant to be here on earth with us. And I certainly can't imagine life without our sweet guy now. I know C because I did not know JB. 

So, in closing, I have to thank our sweet little angel for all that he has given us without ever setting foot on this earth.

Thank you my little JB. You are in my heart always.

Six Months

Our little guy is already six months old! He's happy, healthy and brings an incredible joy into our lives. I'm pretty certain he has everyone wrapped around his little pinky.

Mom, Why Did You Adopt C?

This is the question our five year old, Miss K, asked me.

I replied, "Well, we've talked about this before. Because Daddy and I wanted another little baby."

She says, "And..."

I say, "And because we wanted you to have a sibling."

Again she says, "And..."

So I go on and say, "Well sweetie, we met A and A and we loved them too and wanted them in our lives and they asked us to be C's family. And...

She says, "And because you wanted him to pee in your face?"

<insert belly laughing here>

So today's lesson? I need to lighten up. Not all questions are meant to be deep.

Shopping Trip

I just had an urge to write this morning and this is what hit me. This shopping trip for C. I remember on the way there Nick and I were so nervous and scared. We kept asking each other, surely this will happen if we go shopping together right? I mean if we buy all this little boy stuff and it doesn't work out what are we going to do with it? I know with our previous match I did buy little girl things and that was one of the hardest things to do... as a matter of fact I didn't take them back until after this shopping trip to exchange them for little boy items. After we got there, and I saw how Agirl's face lit up while shopping, most of my fears vanished. Whether or not placement was going to work out, I decided I could enjoy this with her. She loves to shop! Her joy for it was infectious. Nick hates to shop, well except for hunting and fishing, but there at the end? Even he was looking around for little boy items. I remember we kept trying to figure out what season it would be for the age of clothing! I really wanted a picture of all of us together. I had taken my camera with me every time we had visited with them, but I always forgot to ask to take pictures. Not this time! At this particular picture is on a shelf in C's room. This day was a huge day for Nick and I! I think after this day is when reality hit us, we were matched with this amazing couple considering us to be parents! Dreaming and wishing and hoping for this little guy began!!