Bike Ride

We love being outside and one of the things we like to do outdoors is ride our bikes. Miss K has been sick and cooped up in the house. We had a beautiful day and she was begging to go on a bike ride, so I decided that was a great idea! I finally got a new camera!! YEAH! So I can finally take a few pictures and post them on here!

Pumpkin Pickin'

Miss K and Momma on the hayride. The sun was brutal today!

Looking for the perfect pumpkin!

I found it Mom!

Good thing we have a big, strong Daddy to carry it for us!

K with our pumpkins!

 We decided to go to the same pumpkin patch as last year. We got together with several friends and had a good time!

A Time to Mourn

I recently read a book "A Time to Mourn, A Time to Dance." A sentence just jumped right out at me when I was reading... "The death of a parent is a death of the past. The death of a spouse is a death of the present. But the death of a child is a death of the future." I have no idea what it is like to lose a parent, or a spouse but I'm certain the pain runs deeps.  I do know how the death of my baby was and that part is very true! My future changed drastically. All of our hopes and dreams were gone in an instant. I haven't looked at anything the same, nor do I feel the same about a lot of life situations. It took some time to adjust on what to talk about with Nick. Think about it, you get married and have babies.... you talk about getting married and talk about having children. When that is gone, you struggle on what to talk about.


It's been a little over 2 1/2 years since we lost little JB. The pain is just as strong and the sadness is still in my heart. I've come to accept that it will always be there, and I guess at times I welcome it. There isn't a day goes by that I don't think of him. I felt such joy when finding out I was pregnant and I know because of that joy I feel such sadness at knowing he is no longer here.


I have very little patience when it comes to others not trying to understand or judging me because I can't "just get over it." I will never "get over" it, but instead I'm learning every day to deal with it in different, better ways. I know my child was not meant to be with me and I accept that, but it does NOT make the pain less. I will always miss, and long for our baby.


In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day!

Cardinal's Fans!

Of course we are, since our home state is Missouri!

Isn't she the cutest little fan ever!?

A Camping We Will Go

I'm so glad the weather has finally cooled down so we are able to start camping. We had a cold snap, and that last morning was chilly! We had a great time and I'm looking forward to the next camping trip!

Enjoying the tree swing with her friend.

Eating grapes, and warming up by the fire!

Three Women and a Lady

So here I was sitting with two very obvious pregnant women. (Normally I wouldn't be in this type of setting, but I was trying to mingle) Another lady walks up and sits down as well. It goes something like this:
Lady says to 1st woman: It's nice to meet you! How far along are you?
1st woman answers
Lady: Is this your first child?
1st woman answers
Lady: Oh, that's wonderful, what a blessing. Is it a boy or girl?
1st woman anwers
Lady to ME: "Do you only have one child?"
Me: Yes
Lady to Me: Are you going to have more?
Me: Well, umm my husband and I are in the process of adopting.
Lady to Me: Oh, I hear that takes a long time."
Me: Yes it can.
Lady to Me: Why are you adopting?
Me: I would suppose the same reason these women are pregnant....
Lady to Me: Well, good luck to you."
Lady to 2nd woman: "Is this your first pregnancy?"
2nd woman answers, Lady continues asking Woman 1&2 questions regarding pregnancy and children and not another word to me.
Needless to say I was ready to burst into tears....

First off, I find it offensive when people ask me if I'm going to have more children. Really, do you need to tell me that adoption can take a long time? Do you really think that I don't know this!? And the 2nd question completely BLEW me away... a person would never ask a pregnant woman why she was pregnant... This is not the first time (nor will it be the last I'm sure) that I've heard hurtful comments. I've realized that the statement "Good luck" is a dismissing of the topic. There was/is clearly a different vibe I get from others when adoption is mentioned. Almost like I can't be included in their talk because I'm expanding my family differently. People (women mostly) tend to get all excited when a pregnant woman is around, but yet they can't show me the same amount of excitement. I know we are becoming a family in a different way, but it's just as exciting for us. I don't understand why others can't see that as well. And that's my gripe today! I promise I won't gripe anymore! (for awhile!)

Celebrate the Small Things

Well, it's been a LONG time that I've been able to say this: Life is good! We've had quite a few changes over the last month or so. It's getting easier coming home to dog-less house. It's amazing how much my life (especially in the end) revolved around Samps. I still miss him like crazy, but it's getting better. I started working at a preschool as an assistant teacher. I might add, that I absolutely LOVE it! Miss K is also going to preschool there and she seems to enjoy it. She thinks she is such a big girl for going to school! I'm not in her class, so I don't see her the few hours that we are there. Well, not unless I need to go peek at her :) In October Nick is going to start working nights, so we are getting ready to switch gears for that as well. My lastest great news is that I won a $100 gift card to Wal-Mart. I was doing a little happy dance saying "Yay, I won, I won!" Nick didn't find it near as cool as I did. We recently had some other pretty exciting news as well, but I'll not get into that just yet. I know, I know... I hate when people do that too! As of right now, I'm celebrating the small things in life. Regardless of how everything turns out, I'm happy and excited in this moment!